More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
