I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
