I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
