Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
