awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
