Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
