Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.

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(207): View more from Maine

there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets

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(519): View more from Ontario

I have a critically important question to ask.

(519): View more from Ontario

Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.

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(248): View more from Michigan

So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."

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(616): View more from Michigan

This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote

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(757): View more from Virginia

Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?

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