just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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