So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize