I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
