so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
