I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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