Kiss
Puke
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
