There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
