you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
