it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
