i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
