Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You smell like stripper and shame
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
