his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
