Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
