Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
