you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
