Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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