Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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