Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
