lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize