i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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