When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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