Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
