i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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