Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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