You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
