while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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