Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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