Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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