"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
