dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
