actually, I'm a sock model
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
