between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
