There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
