Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She said her name was "party"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
