PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
