my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I am one with the molecules
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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