I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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