she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
