Jerry, you need to find god
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
A+ Viking dick
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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