i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
