i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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