I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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