I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
God, I missed his penis.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
