i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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