whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm both gender and math confused
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
