He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize