my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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