can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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