In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
