I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
