the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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