with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
