literally had 100 drinks last night.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
