Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
