i just google imaged poop.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
