2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
