I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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