I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
