She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize