I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
