I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
