I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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