Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I need a burrito and a hug.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
