i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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