In the future we'll all be gay
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
