so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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